Night Will Come
by Tearlit
Summary: This will be a series of unrelated drabbles and short pieces about James and Lily and their roles in the war.
1. Die By Your Hand

Disclaimer - Not mine!

A/N - This is being written for the LJ group called 30 Wounds. The pairing I claimed was James/Lily. Chapter titles will be the title of the prompt. Enjoy!

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_"Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...not Harry! Not Harry! Please – I'll do anything -"_

Deathly Hallows. American version. Page 344

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Lily Apparated onto the steps of Sirius' house and immediately collapsed to her knees. She clutched Harry to her chest with one hand and knocked weakly on the door with the other. The baby was wailing, a high, keening cry, and she could barely hear Sirius over him.

"Lily?"

"Sirius, please..."

"What do you like doing without magic?"

"Mopping."

The door opened and he grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet and into the house before closing and bolting the door. Sirius pulled the baby from her and set to soothing him.

"What happened? Where's James?"

"You were wrong." Her eyes flashed and she tugged the baby away. "_You were wrong!_" she screamed.

Harry began to wail again.

"Remus wasn't the traitor." Her voice was deadly quiet now as she rubbed the baby's back.

"Lily?" Sirius asked, dread coloring his voice.

"It was Peter. You made us use him as Secret Keeper and he was the spy."

The blood drained from Sirius' face.

Lily sank to the ground, holding the baby close, as tears began to drip down her cheeks.

"Voldemort came. He killed James. He wanted Harry."

"How did you get away?"

She rocked back and forth.

"He killed James..."

Sirius knelt, gripping her chin in one hand and forcing her to look at him.

"What did you do?" His voice was as cold as steel.

"What I had to. He was trying to kill my baby, Sirius."

Her eyes begged him to understand.

"Why did you come here?"

"You know why," she replied.

"Hand me Harry."

She did, wincing as he brushed the newly tender spot on her left forearm.

Sirius hesitated, the child perched on one hip.

"Do it," she whispered.

Green light flashed.

She was dead before she hit the ground.


	2. Papercut

Disclaimer - Not mine!

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_We were so optimistic; wasn't it easy to be?_

Eileen by The Hush Sound

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Lily remembered when she thought the worst, most aggravating pain was a paper cut – it always stung for so long, and took forever to heal because her wand or quill would always rub in just the wrong spot and agitate it. Her sister always laughed at her, asking how something that didn't really even bleed could bother her so badly. She longed for those days, when the biggest problem in her life was something so trivial.

Now she knelt just off the High Street of Hogsmeade with blood running in her eyes. Her right hand was so blistered and swollen from the flames that were still spreading along the road that she had to use her wand in her left. James lay at her feet and she clumsily poured Essence of Dittany on his wounds and cast the proper healing spells. He finally came to and she smiled at him, brushing blood impatiently from her eyes, and pulled him close with both hands, pushing away the pain so she could hold her fiancé close and whisper her love for him into his ear.

As he pulled away the stinging in the gash on her scalp and the throb from the burn on her hand intensified, becoming unbearable as James shoved her to the ground to avoid a volley of spells shooting their way. Yes, a paper cut would have been the least of her worries.


	3. Accept Defeat

Disclaimer - I don't own it.

A/N - This is a bit different from my usual stuff. I blame the rabid plot bunny that jumped on my head. Warning - implied slash/adultery. Don't like it? Don't read it.

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_You're standing in my doorway, though he's asleep in my bed. The steady murmur, always in my head..._

Hurricane by The Hush Sound

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Hazel eyes met green and locked there, conveying a thousand emotions, all too strong for words. Lily tore her gaze away first, and both parties turned to look at the sleeping man, who moaned softly and rolled towards James.

The woman's hand came up to cover her mouth and she looked so dejected that James wanted to cry, to take it all back, to have never let Sirius in while Lily was away, to have never kissed him, never... He sighed, wanting to hold her, but knowing she would never allow it, not now, when she had found him in such a way. James stared at her as she watched Sirius, emotions playing across her features with unmatched speed - love, hate, happiness at seeing him so content, bitter resentment at all his contentment was costing her.

"Lils?" he whispered, sitting up and reaching a hand towards her. The sheet slipped down down his chest to pool around his waist, and as he leaned towards her she could see he was naked, as she had assumed. Having this confirmed made the blow hit harder, and she turned away before he could see the tears rolling down her face.

She slipped out of their bedroom and down the hall to the nursery, scooping up baby Harry into her arms and holding him close. His eyes didn't open, but he nuzzled his face against her neck, lazily twining his chubby fingers into her hair. She heard the door open and close behind her, but did not turn until she felt a hand come down gently on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" she hissed, spinning to face him.

"Lily, I..."

"In our bed, James? With the baby here? Does it happen every time I'm gone overnight on missions?"

"No, not every time."

"Just most," she whispered, staring into his eyes. He did not deny this, and that was all the confirmation she needed.

"Why, James? Why did you lie and tell me things were over between you, that you didn't feel that way about each other anymore? Why did you marry me?"

"I love you."

"And you love him."

"Yes."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I came back early. It won't happen again."

She heard the intake of breath as he gasped. "You aren't going to hex me?"

"No."

"But...why?"

"I want you to be happy. I want him to be happy." _If that means carving my heart out, so be it. We could all be dead tomorrow, and then what would all this matter?_

"Lily?"

"I'm taking the baby to visit Dorcas. We'll be back in a few hours."

"Lils, I'm -"

"Don't apologize. You aren't sorry it happened, you're sorry I saw, and I don't want to hear it."

"Lils..."

With a crack she was gone.


	4. Bloodstains

Disclaimer - Not mine.

A/N - This is a companion to the previous chapter, "Accept Defeat." Waring: slash/adultery. Don't like? Don't read.

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_Save me, I am swallowed by the guilt of this. _

A Dark Congregation – The Hush Sound

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The bloodstains were a constant reminder of what was lost - of what he gave up, what he threw away. Oh, it would be easy to get rid of them, a simple charm would do the trick, but James Potter wanted the reminder, wanted one more thing to make him feel like the scum that he knew he was.

She haunted him, and she wasn't even dead. But she so easily could have been, and this bothered him even more than the words that whispered through his dreams, through his thoughts, that hovered in his ears waiting to catch him alone and vulnerable.

_What if it had been you? What if you were the one bleeding to death while I was shagging my best friend in the next room? What would you do in my place?_

James tried, _honest to God_ he tried, but when could he ever resist Sirius? Never. And when Lily was gone and Sirius would show up, sometimes fresh from a mission, covered in blood, with the pain of death so _heavy_ in his eyes...how could he possibly turn him away? He couldn't, and he didn't and he hated himself for that.

He shouldn't blame her for leaving, for taking Harry, for getting as far away from him as possible, but part of him did. After his wife had finally caught them together, James swore it would not go so far again, but it did. _Every single time_. And he felt the guilt, the pain, the agony of knowing he was betraying her each time, even though she had never asked him to turn Sirius away. After that first, quiet conversation in the nursery, the topic had not been mentioned.

Sirius knew, of course, that she had caught them – James told him everything. And still he came. And James hated that, longed to hex him and scream at him and push him away...until he saw his eyes. When they were so full of pain how could he not pull him close? Kiss him gently? Stroke away the pain with all the little touches that he knew would make the man forget?

At first he tried to tell himself that it wasn't his fault the night that Sirius was moaning so loudly that he didn't hear the crack of Apparition in the kitchen. It wasn't his fault at all that his own moans drowned out the cries from at the foot of the stairs. It wasn't his fault at all that when she opened her eyes at St. Mungo's she tugged her hand from his grasp and stared at him as if he were You-Know-Who himself. Nor was it his fault when she refused to speak to him, refused to let him escort her home, refused to even look at him. But then he saw the bloodstains, where she had dragged herself from the kitchen, through the living room and to the foot of the stairs where she finally couldn't move any further, and he knew that he was deceiving himself.

Whenever he closed his eyes now he saw Lily the way she looked on the day she left - face pale, even after the blood replenishing potions, and her eyes… They were jaded, old, and he vaguely recalled that she looked like his mother did after his father had died.

He had promised her that he would never be with Sirius again, if only she would stay, and he almost believed himself. Almost. But it didn't matter because she didn't believe him at all. And even after she left he swore he would turn him away, would deny him in hopes of winning back the love of his wife, but then Sirius appeared at his door after a mission. Even then he told himself no, but Sirius plead with his eyes and then he told himself just one kiss. A chaste one at that. But the chaste kiss turned passionate and his hands were in Sirius' hair and Sirius was tugging at his robes and the next thing he knew they were upstairs and the clothes were gone and he was pressed face down into the bed with Sirius on top of him and he couldn't think anymore, didn't want to think anymore. He focused on the feelings, the sensations, Sirius breath on his neck, his hands on his body... He did not focus on his wife, did not focus on the promise he was breaking, did not focus on anything but his lover.

And when it was over, when Sirius was curled against him, asleep as always, then he let it wash over him, let himself remember everything he had promised, everything he had just thrown away again. And when he was certain Sirius would not wake at the movement, he went down and sat at the foot of the stairs and stared at the bloodstains, the constant reminder of what he had done, and had _not_ done. He ached for the wife who could not even look at him, for the child he could not hold, and he remained there, eyes glued to the rug, until Sirius sat beside him, threw an arm around his shoulders and coaxed him back to bed.


End file.
